Tuition 2/9/2008

Hey,how's everybody doing??..
hope its all a fine day..
wanna share with ya all smth..
im down and depress..
ive always made choices i regret..
like just today,i went for tuition..
at first i went home,i was super tired,both legs were cramping ,not allowing me to walk even properly..
i was like a big fat duck..
oh yeah,u dont wanna know what to my leg..
thn i didnt wanted to go tuition..
my legs are injured and all im thinking of is her..
i was afraid she might not wanna see me coze i just confess to her yesterday??..
although she has her bf,i still hold on..
so,i was kinda scared tht i might confuse her more..i was busy thinking while sewing back my bag which snap into two this morning..
i was busy thinking till i forgot what the time it was...
somehow whn i look out my house i wonder,if i went there she runs,what am i to do??..
i dont wan the person whom i love runs away from me..
thinking and thinking..suddenly the thunders roar among the skies..
without hesitation i grab my bag and ran for tuition..
i was jerking my legs off,ignoring the pain because i really wanted to see her..
as i reach there,THERE SHE WAS SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME..
i swear to god she saw me but she ignored me..kinda felt like my heart was hammered till a million pieces..
so i didnt say hito her,i went to pay my fees...then came she again..walking near me but was paying for the 2 chocolate sticks..for a second there i thought mayb she wanted to say hi..thn again im invisible..i really wanted to slap myself..y come to tuiton to make her unhappy??..
damn man,my fault..
but eventually i did say hi to her..she smile but it was fake..saw it through her eyes..
damn again..i wondered how much does it take for a person to just hid their feelings??..
damn man,damn!!..
i wanted to run off..i didnt wan to see her in tht situation..
whats worse..i tried walking normally in front of her..i tried so hard i was sweating,my heart was beeping..
so whats the point of me going for tuition anymore??..
in god's name,show me a sign,tell me what to do??..
am i to stop tuition so tht she would be free??.
or am i to hold on and see her so??..i wanna love her but i love her by she being happy...
now i keep thinking if i could really hold my feelings down and show her tht im just being myself..
well..i know she wouldnt care much..theme for the day -tuition today.....