she is gone...

hey all...how's everybody doing??..
so here's to say bout my title..
guess she is gone..
darn man..she really did hurt me damn badly...
i use to smile to frens no matter in what position i am in but it seem she stole tht smile away...
i guess im just a body who lost its soul..
i sms her the other day..
i wanted to talk to her as we had not chat in a few days..
so i send to her saying tht she mayb too busy or just im boring to chat with..
i quickly ended the conversation as i knew she was hurting badly the other side..
i knew the reasons to why she did not sms me or she was always busy..
its already hard for her to face me plus with contact now it must be driving her nuts..
i know tht im the cause of her pain..i just thought mayb hanging on or clinging on might just get me one last chance..
so after tht day on friday(the day i sent the sms),the next day she replied to me and told me to not waste time on her..she said its unworthy..
so i told her...whats worthy or not ,its up to me to decide..she can dont care bout me but she cant stop me from liking her..
my reply included tht i would nvr bother her again..
for one moment i thought mayb if i just cut off our communication it might hurt her less..
i really thought at then if she is begging me to let her go,it might have took her a lot of pain to reach there...
so i did what she asked..i said i wouldnt bother her as so she would have a happier or merrier life..
but is she??..
when i came to think tht she is crying for a nuisane who she claims the term 'boyfriend' ...
i just kinda feel tht im very frustrated..
i mean why in hell cry for someone who doesnt even care bout u??..
whn u know its hurting enough thn u dont wanna let go??..
what is on her mind??..
yet i can feel how much pain she is in..
i really wanna tell her..whats worthy?
to cry for someone who dont care for u is worthy??..
and a guy who tries to give u everything is unworthy??..
i held my phone to my palms..
thn i slapped myself..
i said to myself..darn,im so selfish..
how could not know tht she is already sad tht her bf doesnt care much..
i shouldnt have add slat into the wound..
so i lay down my phone and kept it away from me..
but thn i kinda lost the happiness in me..
i was moodless..i went to school and i just couldnt help but to think of her..
but i try to be tough..i still put on smile..
i watch comedy movies just to cheer myself up...
but what i really wan now is....HOW IS SHE DOING??IS SHE SAD??..WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF HER BF DOESNT TALK TO HER AGAIN??..
well i guess its over...
she is gone...
but down this endless road..mayb i will still wait but i wouldnt wanna tell her..
haha...everytime i say ill wait,i feel like a fool..
how many times u wait for a girl tht the girl will really choose u back??..
so now i will try my best to go on with life..
still everytime i pray tht she will be happy..she will smile..and she could get all the happiness in the world..
i hope she nvr get sad..i hope she will get a good life..i pray she gets good results..
i just keep praying...
let god hear my prayers...
but thy shall never know as thy shall nvr read this blog...(thy not=thy,thy means she)....
so im holding back my tears and ill wait...