take ur sweet time...

i really miss being loved,being with someone so unknown,so unpredictable,so much conflict,the smiles,the kisses,the sad times,and most of all the feeling of being taken care of..
for those who are single like me,i bet some of u do miss these tender feeling huh??..
yea..and those can only possibly imagine this feeling..
ive always struggle whether to choose the best among the all..
but to know tht now its not who i choose but to slice a double edged sword,tht ppl dont choose me..
i thought tht everytime i fall,i could just get up and u know mayb go on with life..
but to realise tht its more than that..
if u fall and there are cuts,u dont leave them..
u give them medicine,antiseptic,tender love for tht very wound to heal..
to give it time for the pain to ease..
but because of an itchy hand u scratch it and tht leaves a scar..
and everytime u look back at the scar u think back..
u tend to be sad for tht moment for everything tht had happen..
how come such bad decision were made??..
u just keep telling urself if i can go back in time..
if i could just alter the past,things might turn out better..
its true tht i barely known her..
its true i made a decision tht hurt her and me..
it was a very hasty decision and a selfish decision..
i let my ego had my mind filled with silly thoughts..
i thought if i kept myself feeling guilty tht might just make up for everything ive done...
but now to look back,isnt it a path tht was drawn so clearly tht its time to wake up..
no point of doing anything to change the past because somethings nvr do change..
its true tht im still in love with her..
so i wanted to tell her so much...
"take ur sweet time,im gonna be here when u change ur mind,take ur sweet time'..
i do not tend to bother her because loving someone is not to care for every step thy take,,
but to believe in their choices..
i realise tht im a jerk but hey,give a jerk a chance to learn to not be a jerk..
i wouldnt call my waiting for her as punishment but i would rather named it "a chance"..
a chance for me to realise tht no point in feeling guilty,no point in blaming urself,if there is fate thn let god decide who is best for who..
without her giving me the cold shoulder i could nvr learn to think more further..
to improvise what ive done and to sit down and think..
could say tht she was really giving my life a hard time but as much as it is,these feelings are so hard to get rid off just because so..
she once asked me why do i love her whn we barely known each other??
well..i guess the answer is here...
for all tht she didnt done and she done was the only reason left tht i love her from thn till now..
took me sometime to figure out and to decipher this reason..
i really wish she would see my blog someday but as thin as ice,she wouldnt..
life is so unpredictable,i dunno how long can i wait..
i mean she's got a boy but i dunno how deep are thy..
put it in a nut shell,let fate decide who is best for who...
putting up a fight isnt gonna make things better right??..
im so free and i dont think im sad over the things ive done wrong..
thx to her ive learn so much.....