disappointed..

today went out with a girl to watch the movie night at the museum 2..
the show was hilarious and nice,overall its was worth watching..

so i went to lm at like 11.30..
went to a n w for breakfast then head off to popular to read my favorite magazine..
the men's magazine..
so written in there were basically men's stuff..
and there this section called the sex bulletin if i was not mistaken,wrote there bout girls commenting how to be called a sexy guy..
so there written bout guy's blog shouldn't be bout the depressive stuff instead should be something a guy's desire....

so i apparently disagree..
though i do wanna thought as a sexy man..
but i find the comfort to write bout my depressive stuff in here..

i seriously don't understand her..
does she have feelings or does she not??.
she spends time with me but she keeps her distance..
she gives me a feeling that i wan u but i dowan u..

seriously i do not know what is my next move towards her..
though sometimes i feel like msging her or even calling her out..
but she seems all busy..
she makes it sound all nice to call me out for lunch or to spend time with her but in the end she keeps her distance..

i dont know how long can i survive in this situation..
to be frank,my feelings for her had not fade..
it was always there but i kept it within me cause back then she had another man's heart..
but now she is single..
she cheers for single but is that what she wants??..
or am i just giving myself too much hope??.
mom is always nagging bout me thinking too much when things are made easy..

so i wanted to ask her does she still likes me??..
though i admitted that im not convince to be in a relationship now but i do want a woman to change my thought of so..
i don't want to be a wanderer,always finding and not having someone to lay back on..

i always envy the moments where the guys get to lay back and have some alone time with the one they love..
well,i admit i think too much..
but just to be clear,i do still like her and the feelings aint something that is fading soon..
i guess its here to stay..

so another disappointing thing would be my performance for the basketball training..
i do not know why i had tremendously retard of my stamina..
mayb i cant focus on the game..
i dont know..
something is bothering me..
and thanks to all that wished me on my bday..
i do appreciate it a lot..