im not happy today..
now that i realise that friends arent friends..
that even among friends,we spilt up into different variety of groups just because disagreement of judgement and thought..
sometimes im left to wonder all alone if it was really a bad choice or not..
was it something i said that sound so immature??.
i thought if u treat someone good eventually they will treat u back..
but however it seems no matter how u treat that someone good,a grudge is a grudge,a scar is a scar,that they wont change their perception anymore bout u..
if they think ure immature thn u are from the start till the end of the friendship..
i feel that these people are so cold hearted and are so full of themselves..
giving people a chance and changing ur thoughts about him/her defines that ur giving urself another chance too..
i maybe foolish to not know what im saying half the time....
but i do know this that as much i am not good in words,i had nvr betray or backstab a fren whom i call him/her friend..
it takes a lot of guts to betray someone and it takes a lot of thought to say one and do another..
sometimes to think back,im really through with friendships..
if u wanna talk to me thn u talk..i dont wan to bother to ask or talk much about anything..
its this feeling of the more u talk the more mistakes u made..
having to think back i do talk too much..
i have problems shutting my mouth..
i have problems voicing unnecessary stuff..
i really should have kept my distance as even making friends is a task..
actually there is so much to talk bout friends..
i could type a million words but none can reach anyone as it really takes one to notice another..
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Well, whatever you must have said you meant good as a friend. You can't expect people to understand in the first instance right after you said something because what they have experienced is not the same as you. You have a lot of thoughts that make you come to a conclusion about something and you can't expect them to reach the conclusion instantly. Benjamin Franklin once said, don't expect to "win" the first time. Your first job is to start the other person thinking. It's like...you try to help them but if they don't wanna listen it's their loss. I guess what you're frustrated is that you've come to a point of understanding of something but you just can't seem to find the right words to convince them coz they have not went through the process of thinking as you did. It's like you wanna go jusco and you took road A. This person wanna go jusco too but he had not walked the road before. You just can't find the right words to explain road A and the only way he could understand is to walk the same road as you did.(Like you said: it really takes one to notice another.. )
Know what? You really did made me to start thinking about the first impression thing, jeans and yadda yadda....you know what I mean right? Btw, when someone shows a very cold face it does not really all the time have to mean that they're cold on you. Maybe they're thinking? This is because I noticed myself having these faces and people come to misunderstand that I'm dissatisfied with them which in fact my mind is a little occupied about the things they say....
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