love comes free

sometimes i ask myself am i that irritating or is it just that people seem to dislike me..
though i cannot find the answers to my questions..
as the answer is always different for each person..

but as for the moment what calm this heart of mine is that they love me not..
its not hard to see that sometimes love could get sick of..
people say its what u do and speak that matters, so does that define that my action has always been wrong and irritating?
for all the thing ive done wrong there must be something right,right??

i dont know what made me now but for who i am , i am not satisfy..
im stuck and still finding who i am really..
why and why??..sometimes question keeps on popping and running through my head..
from friends,who really does care about what i feel??
testing who is my friends is a low move but by not testing how would you know??
some say give faith??.but is faith a false hope??
i see faces everyday that i don't even know what to say to them..
just by their looks ,i don't even know if i can trust...
they scare me but as of always im up to the challenge..
i measure and plot my words around..
is this what a friend should feel??
some people be urself and naturally friends will come up..
be myself as in how sometimes i could count more enemies than friends??..
sometimes when i think back of the innocent minds and faces being pollute by the very scum idea of many people is correct, i feel pity..
pity because they could not make a choice to stand up for what is right or wrong..
sometimes majority does not rule..
even the minor yet standing one shall shine and rise above all else...
no one is said to all right or all wrong..
i believe equilibrium in this world..
where one is wrong while he is still right and right while he is still wrong..
being reasonable isn't a daily lesson in our life..
many things are taken into consideration before are being called reasonable..

fuh,sometimes i think im too complicated..
measure and plot??.
am i too defensive??
or am i too aggressive..
but of all things i believe in love comes free...
not a single thing is more valuable than love when it comes free...
right now as of this moment, i cried out another problem that i had troubles finding way to put into words..
right now,ive one less problem and im happy about it..
and i know it sounds very emotional in here..
are my blog isn't very subjective to whom im talking about but for those who felt shall realize that they've manage to influence me so much that i can write a whole blog about them..
they are not people i hate but somehow people i care...