college life starts now..

well..orientation just came and pass..
it wasnt that fun because i pretty much didnt socialize which i pretty much regret it alot..
actually this orientation made me realise something that im just soooo alike the ordinary expectation of people..
mum always said that malaysian's student are most not outspoken..
apparently that is true..
i mean to be able to speak in front of a crowd to make urself clear and to make a good first impression and to not make a fool of urself isnt really something easy..
though some seniors did make a very good example..
in fact a few were quite remarkable the way they handle the situation...

the crowd was very down and gloomy that it makes me wanna stand up and shout 'fuck,this shit is boring'...
well,couldnt find the balls to do so..
well college had many pretty girls and some hot guys even the hibrids were there too..
so many things and so many stuff which i havent explore bout college..
guess i shall have fun there...

oh yeah...just so some people know..
i really dont care bout ur opinion towards me anymore..
u can call me immature or talkative or whatever it is..
the fact is that i wanna have fun..
if being naive i could have fun learning..
i would!!..
if being talkative i can get more friends...
i would!!..
if shouting enables me to express my feelings..
i would!!..
if my immature thoughts can make me a friendly person or someone easy to bullied and mix around..
i would!!...

i hate and sick of this boredom concept call being mature..
im 18...
the freaking big round dunno how many kilometres round shape star we lived is such a big place to be but how many times can we be immature and have fun..

some people think i smile because im lost in my own world..
but nope..i smile because its just the way i am..
if frowning is better than a smile thn sry lah..not my punya style...
punani of some people thinks that they are sooooo mature...
well..go gather ur hormone and fur and that mature thinking of urs and keep aside..
LG=life's good...

i dont and wan to fall for you again..

ever loved someone whom u rejected??..
ever felt desperate for u to talk to her?..
its like a torment just to talk her...u want to talk to her but u dowan too..
u wan to hold back ur feelings..
u know it aint right for u to like her again but yet u wan it...
u yearn for her to care for u but u show nothing,no expression when does care for u..
u hope for a chance to be with her again for u left tht choice due to ur foolishness and selfishness...
u wan to have the distance but u dowan to be too far away..
ur stuck here thinking whether is it u she wants to talk or it is just all in ur mind..
u pick up ur phone and all u ever wanna text is her...

for why in the hell u know ur not gonna be worthy for her and for all that uve done u hope for another chance??..
u tried so hard to pull out of liking her but just her appearance for tht very 5 seconds and all effort to put the distance is thrown away??washed up??..
u know ur all out of love..
u only wan someone to love u but why her??..
y??..
all is happening again..like a spoilt tape that keeps rewinding and rewinding..
u wanna stop the tape..but for somehow tht very spot that keeps rewinding make u happy.
though ive found someone new that i thought i would like but it seems its all a lie..
u wanna stop everything inculding conversation with everyone else just so u could focus on her..
its dumb and yet u know it..
nothing bout what u do for her is gonna make her to give u another chance..
she probably just laugh at it thinking that ure just a mere boy doing unnecessary things...
to her ur nothing..
but to u,she's like a poison..
every step u take make u deeper and the pain gets more real....
i dont but i wan to fall for u again..