a man...

they say a man's shoulder bear much responsibility..
but how much can my shoulder bear??..

what is this character that i play that i played it so well till i dont know who i am myself anymore??..
i am so tired....
arent i suppose to be satisfied since i found someone that i like??
i understand that i shouldn't mixed up all the feelings together..
there is anger,confusion,disappointment and happiness..

how am i to suppress this feeling??in a moment i wanna be happy but there im afraid that i may make someone unhappy..im confused what my parents are thinking of??.i need her by myside right now but why does she run??..

this shoulder of mine suddenly just do not want to bear these responsibilities anymore..
i really feel like giving up at this time..no support from both friend wise and loveone wise...

family gathering..i understand how important this word is but asking me to throw away all other things is just not fair..
what choice is the right one??..friends family studies??...choose one among them??..why force me to answer this question??.
love me thn let me stay here and study,let me at least have a last breathe to fight to the finals..
i told u that i wanna study but that doesnt make u happy..
u see me not studying ur are also not happy..
what do u wan me to do??..i give but u dont take..what u ask is just something i just cant give..
and u say that the whole family dislike me..
answer me this,have u thought of what i feel when u say that??
am i a person without feelings or u words are just meant to hurt me that bad??..
how hard this heart of mine could bear is just by the limit...
when im angry,u say im rude..
when i nice to u all, u say things to hurt me..
what is this ??..a trick??..
im so tired...whenever is this gonna end??..
when will u see that im not just being selfish..im being protective..
i dont wanna be hurt but the more i protect the stronger ur words get..
what weight more can my shoulders bear??