she made it worse..

hey hey..sry for the late update bout my blog..so sry tht i kept u guys waiting..
today today today is so not a good day for me..
i brought my handphone to school and got taken away by teacher..
i know some might say deserve u right but hear me say before u condemn me the death penalty..
i brought my phone to contact my parents whether thy are to fetch me from home or they dont have too..
yeah some might say 1)use the public phone=its NVR functional when u need them
2)go home and or go to ur frens house thn make the phone call=if i had thought so u think i would bring my phone and pay 50 bucks to get back my damn phone???....plus i wanna inform my dad whether to pick me up before he makes a decision to leave work early??..

so i really dont like the idea of paying 50 bucks just to get back the phone..
if u are ought to take it away and charge STUDENTS 50 might as well u ask them to get strip naked to pay for the bloody price..
this is very lunatic act for the school to do so..
it practically corruption..
its like we're going into a bank to get rob...and robbers are teachers..
shit..students are fools without them..
damn man..

so back to my title..i went like a mad bull and walk all the way to jusco furiously and i was very very pissed..i tired to control myself using the same method as i always do PUNCH WALLS!!!but it didnt help me anyway...so i went to my hosuing area to meet up with my frens to have a drink..
and there she was..sitting at a table right in front of me with her mum and sister...
i was blank and i was caught by suprise and i said hi..
her face was like (oh my god its him again!!,ill just look away)..
after so much and plus her reaction to tht..
now thts what i called adding salt into injury..
it sucks!!!!..
i thought mayb she could say hello and just continue with her life.
so after the flames in me was add on with crude oil..it was blastly like a bomb...
i was really angry this time so i went walking in big steps..
i meet my fren and i started to scold my fren...
thn whn i realise tht she was unhappy ,the bloody flames in me turn iced cold..
damn man..what kind concept in this..
u tell me...
i just wanna be friends with her and it tht so hard??..whats wrong having someone liking u as ur fren??.
its not like im gonna send her message or beg on the floor asking her to be my girl??.
its so unpredictable of her..
oh girll....just what is on ur mind at tht very moment??..
cant u understand i just wanna have a nice chat with u??..
by ur reaction i felt pain in my heart...and anger drove me out blindly...huhhh...
god have mercy on my mere poverty powerless soul and stop playing my life..
give me see the chances to go on this life although the falls are deep and wounds are innerly done...
girl i believe the damage done to u wasnt as bad as ive done to u..
so willingly am i to be blindly hurted by u..
to go on..i saw on tv bout victoria's secret bout sexy..
boy oh boy ... do i like the lips part..
they say for a guy to look sexy is to shut up and dont do say anything..
i was like facing the mirror and ask myself=sexy??..
hahaha..oh well i dont have thick lips so it doesnt kill...
hahaha....i wish to have lips like dane cook..=he's got jessica alba's attention..
yeah..im kinda like OH MY GOD ITS JESSICA ALBA...she is a major hottie...
but then she is a mother to a son i think...well god bless her....
so i guess this is it...my eyes are killing and its beginning to put on weights...
tata for now..take care ppl..outta here..

today i miss u more thn ever??...

tralalala...today was kind of good..
wasnt tht bad..
playing bball was quite tiring...
woke up at 7 this morning,was kinda blur...
get out of the house at 7.30...
reached the court but none of my friends arrive..and i was kinda bored there..
but thn after thewy come came the fun part..shoot and shoot..pass and pass..alley-oops...
wow...tiring...just like 2 weeks didnt play tht im oredi grasping for air..
haha..consider myself not fit..
so after as usual went for breakfast/lunch and then went for a chit chat with chee hou..
bloody fella with his usual topic..
had to make me remember about her..
damn it man..
so i was thinking of her all day...thn my phone rang her up..
she answered but i didnt say anything..
i really wanted to ask her can we start of being frens and how is she nowadays...
hah...but usual me..took back one step and shut the conversation..
i know im useless and tht fat fella chee hou has to remind me of tht statement..
actually what is on her mind anyways??..
just like the song by archuleta...
do you think of me??..
awww...sucks tht i nvr know...haha
so later on we went to play bball again but plus this girl..
so i was fooled by them..
teasing me and the girl and the pathetic me just tag along..
haha..i know im childish but u know the best part??..
nobody can do a damn bout it..
but the more thy tease the more i think of her..
i dowan her to be off my mind..
god help me...
haha..
thn later as we approach the canteen i slip and fell..
it kind hurt though..
and a small cut in finger...what lah..
haha...
so later i went home..i msg her..
damn...couldnt resist??.
i miss her a lot..
wuuuu...
the msg contains my good luck for her exams..
and thn she did reply anyways..
same thing..
my god..happy me for tht instand moment..
thn i slept..was too tired...oh well...maths..i will do my very best to not lose to her..but i hope she do her best to beat me..
i wan her to be competitive..ahahaha..
i just miss her so much..can i chat to u someday??..can we really be together mah??..
oh well..i know the chances are slimmer thn slim..
but i hope my sincerity will make her understand she wasnt loved by me for fun..
=.=..right u guys dont wanna know right..haha..
so i guess i will end now....

tired day..

wow.today was supremely a tired day..
i went to school to sit for the english paper..
it wasnt tht tough but i had no time to write finish my 2nd essay..
i breached the 2nd page and was going on to my 3rd paper but time was up..
oh well...guess too much chef spoils the soup..
i wonder how did she do??..its gonna be maths exam and i hope she will strive her best to get the best results...
oh yeah..back to my topic..
so after the exams me and my buddies went to kim gary in jusco to have our lunch..
boy oh boy..i order a prok chop and it wasnt anything special..but it turn out okay anyway..
so we had a long chat among ourselves...i had so much to talk about but i didnt talk much bout her..
i guess she was always on my mind but ihad to kept strong though..
so after tht we went home..i went to my frens hse..
at there i view profiles,watch youtube,listen to songs..and hey i listen to this great song sang by david archuleta..
i read the lyrics and i so wanted to present to her the song..
i dunno but the songs i heard on tv and radio just so seem to be on my side...
i really wan to tell her how much i felt for her and its all written in the song..
but unfortunately,she will not care bout me..
she will nvr know tht im just blindly waiting..
love can make a man blind...
aww...darn im going against my topic againn..
apology...
so i stood a the comp for 2 hours...
my bump was already aching and its going square...
and later thn at 7 i had 3 hours of tuiton..
my bump looks like a frying pan..=.=..
i miss her so much.....
can anyone tell me how to send her the song?...david archuleta-crush..
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
haha...well...its 12 and i should get to bed..
ttfn(tata for now)...

tired day..

examination...

tomorrow will be our bi paper..
today was our bm paper..
i was straining my brains out for this bm paper..
i dunno how bad did i did but i sure hope i can survive..
life is gonna hard during this period..
but somewhere in the bottom of my heart,i miss her so much..
i kept praying tht she'll be blessed for her exams..
oh well..i guess she wont know did she...
so as i flip through the script of the examination i was thinking and thinking of ideas..
but everytime i took a deep breathe i think of her..
i just keep telling myself..in order for her to be happy why dont u concentrate on ur exam..
suffering as it is..i still go on..
i wonder how much pressure can i take..
i will try my very best effort to get her back and score well in my examination..
but still too bad she ignores my effort..
haha...its like an open wound was splashed with salt..
yet i still wanna smile..
haha..dad bought mum a new phone today...
mum smiled but i wasnt impressed by the phone as it was just ordinary....
it wasnt eye attractive but i think mum should be happy..
anyways for those out there sitting for their exam..do accept my apologise(i think its spelled this way) for not wishing u all..
tata...gotta study for now..
wish her good luck and u all best of luck...

examination...

she is gone...

hey all...how's everybody doing??..
so here's to say bout my title..
guess she is gone..
darn man..she really did hurt me damn badly...
i use to smile to frens no matter in what position i am in but it seem she stole tht smile away...
i guess im just a body who lost its soul..
i sms her the other day..
i wanted to talk to her as we had not chat in a few days..
so i send to her saying tht she mayb too busy or just im boring to chat with..
i quickly ended the conversation as i knew she was hurting badly the other side..
i knew the reasons to why she did not sms me or she was always busy..
its already hard for her to face me plus with contact now it must be driving her nuts..
i know tht im the cause of her pain..i just thought mayb hanging on or clinging on might just get me one last chance..
so after tht day on friday(the day i sent the sms),the next day she replied to me and told me to not waste time on her..she said its unworthy..
so i told her...whats worthy or not ,its up to me to decide..she can dont care bout me but she cant stop me from liking her..
my reply included tht i would nvr bother her again..
for one moment i thought mayb if i just cut off our communication it might hurt her less..
i really thought at then if she is begging me to let her go,it might have took her a lot of pain to reach there...
so i did what she asked..i said i wouldnt bother her as so she would have a happier or merrier life..
but is she??..
when i came to think tht she is crying for a nuisane who she claims the term 'boyfriend' ...
i just kinda feel tht im very frustrated..
i mean why in hell cry for someone who doesnt even care bout u??..
whn u know its hurting enough thn u dont wanna let go??..
what is on her mind??..
yet i can feel how much pain she is in..
i really wanna tell her..whats worthy?
to cry for someone who dont care for u is worthy??..
and a guy who tries to give u everything is unworthy??..
i held my phone to my palms..
thn i slapped myself..
i said to myself..darn,im so selfish..
how could not know tht she is already sad tht her bf doesnt care much..
i shouldnt have add slat into the wound..
so i lay down my phone and kept it away from me..
but thn i kinda lost the happiness in me..
i was moodless..i went to school and i just couldnt help but to think of her..
but i try to be tough..i still put on smile..
i watch comedy movies just to cheer myself up...
but what i really wan now is....HOW IS SHE DOING??IS SHE SAD??..WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF HER BF DOESNT TALK TO HER AGAIN??..
well i guess its over...
she is gone...
but down this endless road..mayb i will still wait but i wouldnt wanna tell her..
haha...everytime i say ill wait,i feel like a fool..
how many times u wait for a girl tht the girl will really choose u back??..
so now i will try my best to go on with life..
still everytime i pray tht she will be happy..she will smile..and she could get all the happiness in the world..
i hope she nvr get sad..i hope she will get a good life..i pray she gets good results..
i just keep praying...
let god hear my prayers...
but thy shall never know as thy shall nvr read this blog...(thy not=thy,thy means she)....
so im holding back my tears and ill wait...